Women, Sex, and Male Athletes

You probably think this post is going to be about sexual assault or something like that (because, let’s face it, male athletes have a LONG record of assaulting women following them around).

No, today I would like to talk about how much I hate the Huffington Post’s weird desire to post articles that address such hot topics as “Helen Mirren Goes Topless“, “Russell Brand Promotes Film with Bikini Clad Women“, and “Jake Gyllenhaal Takes an Eyeful of Rear End“.  If you are looking for ladies to stare at, go to Huffington Post.

This topic has morphed, though, during the World Cup into a strange series of posts at Huffington that discuss whether or not the women in the male football players’ lives are negatively (always negatively) affecting their on-field performances.

For example:

Sara Carbonero, a beautiful sideline reporter and girlfriend of Spanish goalkeeper Iker Casillas, is being blamed by some fans for Spain’s shocking World Cup loss to Switzerland on Wednesday.

And another:

While the miscue instantly put Green’s name on an infamous list, it’s possible there is a romantic explanation for the costly error. According to the Daily Mail, Green just split with girlfriend Elizabeth Minett, a blonde model.

And just to show that this in not simply a strange US domestic thing, here’s an article about England’s so-called WAG’s:

The infamous Wags – wives and girlfriends – will only be able to visit their husbands or partners on the day after matches in South Africa. Capello said: “We are there to play, not for a holiday. The players will have one day with their family. It will be one day a week, after each game and that is enough. That’s it. I like [the set-up] we have made here at training, where the players stay together.”

What’s the deal here?  These are professional male athletes.  Does anyone really believe that they are so unprofessional while playing at the World Cup that they can’t focus for 90 minutes?  Turns out, everyone, that the WAGs who ruined England’s 1996 chances in the Cup aren’t the reason they aren’t awesome this year.  And maybe, just maybe, the goalie for England just made a major, major mistake.  Same with Spain.  I feel like these sports stars should be pissed that this is how they are judged.  It all reminds me of this Budweiser commercial that is so stupid.  Men just CAN’T concentrate when there is beer or a lady shaking her hips!

It seems, though, that there is one American family whose women are good luck in sports, especially if you have sex with them.  At least, that is what Ty Lawson (the former UNC baller) tweeted recently.  Thanks to the Huffington Post, you can see all his tweets on the topic of fucking Kim Kardashian:

Ty Lawson, the standout rookie for the Denver Nuggets, tweeted today: “I heard if u hit a kardashian u win a championship.. Kim k holla me!!! I need ya for 17 min.” Afterwards he added that he is willing to “take one for the team.”

Gross, Ty Lawson.  Way to make “Kim k” a sexual championship product ready to be consumed.  It grosses me out that he assumes that she wants to go around spreading her sexual luck.  And shame on Huffington Post for making it an article.  Hell, shame on me for linking to it.

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4 thoughts on “Women, Sex, and Male Athletes

  1. I don’t even know where to begin with this stuff. I think there’s some interesting overtones of witchcraft going on, too. This idea that a woman can hold that kind of magical power or a man’s performance seems to stem back to the Salem witch trials. It’s a lot easier to think some witchy woman killed your crops or made you lose the game than to admit that you’re a bad farmer or athlete.

  2. But women can be good luck for male athletes too! Remember Morganna the Kissing Bandit??? I think a peck on the cheek from her was always good for a 2 hit game.

  3. Thank you Jessica for keeping up your posts. I’m glad you found another place to write away from Facebook. I really do appreciate your posts and information. I posted something the other day on my FB account regarding political dealings and wars instead of randomness about bikes. I thought twice about posting it because some people strongly disagree with what I have to say but I decided I needed to put it up and in your spirit, released my comment to the world of FB. Inspired by you!

  4. Pingback: LT Indicted « Speaker's Corner

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