Confession: I don’t watch the Bachelor. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jake Pavelka on TV. I know nothing beyond this article, which, of course, is from the Huffington Post, bastion of high-brow journalism, and Radar Online.
So, just to recap this annoying and stupid article that only makes sense if you buy into lots of stereotypical ideas about gay men and the so-called “tendencies” that they display that shows off their gay-ness, let’s see what makes Bachelor Jake gay.
First, He didn’t want to have sex with the woman he picked on a national-TV broadcast because he was doing a religious fast, he sometimes didn’t feel like it, and that in the end, it was actually that he wanted to wait until they got married but had made up excuses prior because he thought his fiancee wouldn’t understand. So, according to all-around nice guy and totally not-homo, Paul Rosseau, who appeared on Season 4 of ‘The Bachelorette,’ the only reason a man would not have sex with a beautiful woman is, you guessed it folks, he’s totes gay. All the way.
“I definitely think he has gay tendencies, not only because of the way he dresses but also because he didn’t want to have sex with a beautiful girl and never really tried with the other girls on the show,” he told Radar. “Nothing personal, Jake!”
So, for Paul, Jake’s gay-ish clothing, not being a dude who tried to sleep with lots of women who were willing, and because he didn’t want to sex with his fiancee, Jake’s gay. Everyone got that? Except that I don’t think it’s clear that Jake didn’t want to have sex with her, he just didn’t want to have sex before they got married. So, maybe he’s just gay because he dresses like it. And doesn’t sleep around. Which basically makes him sound like a good teenage girl following all the rules that society has laid out for her. So, Jake sounds like a girl. Definitely gay.
And I love the “Nothing personal!” Uhm, you went on the record with Radar Online specifically about one man’s sexuality. I think everything about that is personal. And it sucks because you think that having “tendencies” towards gayness is an insult for which you have to end it with a retort like “Nothing Personal!” to lessen the pain of what you, your interviewer, the author of the article, and the presumed readers see as a personal attack. Seriously, Paul. Nothing personal, but you’re a jerk and your 15 minutes are over.
Then another not-homo from the same season of the Bachelorette, Richard Mathey,
“I’m not sure if he is gay, but it seems he just has no experience with those types of women that are on the show.”
I’m pretty sure Richard is saying that maybe Jake isn’t gay but also that he doesn’t have lady experience with “those types of women”, which means he doesn’t get with sexy and easy ladies when he obviously should be able to (he’s the Bachelor for freaks sake), so he is gay. Thanks, Dick!
And a lady contestant from season 12 who didn’t want to be named (presumably because she would then have to be specific about her claims) added, “I think he has gay potential and definitely gay tendencies.” Potential? And tendencies? Oh no! The Bachelor could be gay. And so could your dad, or your brother, or that dude that dresses gay-ish and doesn’t sleep around. I mean, if he has the potential and the tendencies, I definitely think it deserves an article and some vague-ish scrutiny into his clothing choices. And his potential. Don’t forget his potential.
Oh, and my overall point, is who the fuck cares? And why is this news? And why do these quotes from these idiots equal evidence of possible gay-ness? And so what if he is gay? Blah.