Hi, my name is xx, and I’m self-indulgent.
I keep telling myself, “Do your work, woman!” I am in the middle of researching and writing a dissertation and I am completely unmotivated.
Today, while talking to a very good friend, he encapsulated why dawdling on your dissertation (which, I have come to believe, is part of the process for everyone) is so terrible.
First, writing a dissertation is really a self-indulgent thing, especially in a field where you aren’t going to radically alter the minds of anyone with your dissertation (maybe with your book but that is a long way away). It’s super specific, very tiny, and only interests a tiny group of people, even though you are devoting most of your life to it. It’s huge to you, small to the world.
Then, when you procrastinate and find yourself doing something like “reading for fun” or surfing the internet or watching TV, you are doing another self-indulgent activity in order to give yourself a break from something self-indulgent.
And that makes you feel like shit. Times two.
This made me laugh out loud today. Maybe if you aren’t in this, it won’t seem funny. But for me, right now, I’m in it and I needed a laugh.