Dudley and Bob on 93.7 respond to my post, defend Bobby Bones

Moved from bottom of post to top:

Dudley does say twice that he talked to Bobby Bones and that Mr. Bones said the phones were ringing off the hook to the general manager of 96.7 about this issue.  To those calling, I will simply say thank you.  I think it is good that people are standing up for sexual assault victims and are actively trying to change the way that people in our local media discuss this topic.  Cheers.

___________________________

[TW for sexual assault, victim blaming.]

Click here, scroll down to Feb 18 11 Pt. 2 1 (PART ONE – can’t believe I mistyped that).  If you click the play button, it will load the audio.  Then it counts down how much time is left on the clip.  They begin talking about my post at 34:23.  The topic fades out and into something else near the 7:00 mark.  So, it’s long.

I don’t have time to do a transcription now, maybe ever.  I also don’t really want to respond because I don’t want to get into it with Dudley because that will obviously go nowhere and I certainly don’t have the resources, the pulpit, or the time to argue with him about this.  Yeah, I’d love him to be more respectful when talking about me but I’m not going to even push that.  I have never listened to his radio program and based on both the comment he left on my blog and what he said about me, I can assure you I never will.

I will say that I appreciate him being open about his past.  I think that is incredibly courageous and could very well help someone listening to his program who is also a victim of past sexual trauma.

But because he is a victim of sexual assault and doesn’t have a problem with what Bobby Bones said (which he admits to not even knowing exactly what Bones said or the context in which he said it) doesn’t mean that I am not allowed to.

In the end, it appears that both Dudley and Bob agree that Bones shouldn’t have touched the topic and are fine with me having a problem with it.  Also, Dudley thinks Mr. Bones should apologize but mainly to get me to be quiet.

Dudley’s issue stems from the fact that I aired my grievances publicly and didn’t just write Mr. Bones a letter and hope for the best.  He assumes Mr. Bones would have responded with an apology.  The problem is that I made Mr. Bones defensive by asking for this apology via my blog and tweeting about it.  I shouldn’t have let others know what my problem with the statement was, I guess.  As a friend wrote to me, “it appears that DJs believe that they get to say whatever they want without reproach, but not you.”

Of course, in the process of saying these things Dudley calls me a “dummy” and says I am “childish” (the latter specifically because I put the station manager’s email on my post).  He also assumes I am a rape victim and still goes after me because somehow the “free thought” that happens on a radio program should be a sacred thing and us listeners should easily forgive people on radio who say things we don’t like or find upsetting because the nature of morning radio is to just say whatever comes into your head without thinking or considering its impact.

Mr. Bones was not the only person who said such things about Lara Logan.  I know that.  I’m saddened by that.  So many people said it that there is no way to actually chronicle or catalog them all.  But Mr. Bones was the one I heard about and he is here in Austin.  He is the person that my friends listen to and were upset by.

My problem with Mr. Bones stemmed from what he said and nothing more.

I will forever and always ask that people use care when discussing such topics as sexual assault, especially when the people listening to them are very likely sexual assault survivors.  Because the last person ever who should shoulder the blame for sexual assault is the person assaulted, and they shouldn’t have to listen to someone say otherwise on a morning radio show (or anywhere ever, really).  I stand by my call for Mr. Bones to apologize and I hope that in the future he will take the time to consider how his words about sexual assault may affect listeners of his who are survivors. I still can’t believe how controversial such a request is.

I would ask Dudley to apologize but he makes it clear on his program that that is a futile effort.  If you want to ask him, I guess you have to email the program director because Dudley does not have an email (The one he left in my comments was fake).  The number for the station is (512) 832-4000 – there I go being childish again!  I don’t think I can stop.  If only websites of radio stations would stop listing all this contact information…

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9 thoughts on “Dudley and Bob on 93.7 respond to my post, defend Bobby Bones

  1. Coming from you especially, that means a whole lot to me. Thank you. Your bravada is something that I am constantly in awe of. And I appreciate this comment, especially now, more than I can write.

  2. Pingback: Bobby Bones: Austin DJ, Victim Blamer, Sexual Assault Apologist « Speaker's Corner

  3. Friend,
    You have rocked their boat. I am sure of it. Whether they will ever admit it or not, whether every time they make a victim-blaming comment, they will think of this. I am sure of it.

    I stopped listening to Bobby Bones when he was discussing the murder of a young woman and said, “She wasn’t even hot.”

  4. I made it through some of the audio broadcast thingy. UGH. What an asshole.

    Blogging about how what Bobby Bones said was wrong was awesome. You are awesome. Way to weild your teaspoon.

    *hugs* If they’re wanted.

  5. [Found your site via the Dudley and Bob podcast]

    After listening to the entire clip of the Bone crew discussing the news story, I had a different view on the matter than you did. Instead of continuing the trend to tear into the Boneman, I’ll just say that I don’t tend to look towards the morning show on the local Top 40 pop station for an extensive, intelligent discussion of world events. To me, the hosts seemed to have more of a stupefied reaction to the craziness of the story as opposed to knowingly and purposely making Lara Logan out to be at fault.

    However, (believe it or not!) I can actually understand the outrage and your point, but I just don’t agree with the labels you and your followers have thrust upon Mr. Bones. Plus, it’s a bit disingenuous when you state, “I still can’t believe how controversial [an apology] is”, but make sure to give out every possible email link/contact for the show all while shoehorning in Nir Rosen into the mix.

    Nir Rosen’s tweets obviously came from a place of pure disgust for Logan as a journalist and even mentioned how humorous it’d be if Anderson Cooper got raped as well. Were you trying to equate Rosen and Bones on even level of offensiveness or was the link purely to highlight a possible outcome that you might hope to achieve with this online campaign?

  6. Thank you for reading and giving such a measured response. Let me try to answer what you have said.

    I’m not asking for Top 40 morning radio shows to have extensive, intelligent discussions. I am asking them to be aware of how their language regarding sexual assault victims affects listeners who are sexual assault survivors. I wouldn’t time in my life for anything else if all I did was police the things said on those shows. I know that. But this, this issue, it’s important to me. What Mr. Bones said was common, typical, mundane talk about sexual assault. For whatever reasons, our society (most societies) look at the sexual assault victim first and then sometimes discuss the perpetrators of the crime. I don’t expect this to radically change the world, the USA, Texas, or Austin – I just want awareness of how damaging that type of talk is.

    I agree that Mr. Bones wasn’t purposely saying what he said. But he still said what he said and it means what it means. I think Mr. Bones was parroting much of what is said about sexual assault victims, the easy go-to when we talk about the topic. That’s why I want to draw attention to this. He was blaming the victim (all victims, really) with what he said. I stand by that.

    How does giving out email and contact information on my site matter in this? Because I culled that information from 96.7? Yeah, I want to make it easier for people to voice their complaints. I’m not sure how that has anything to do with this. While I knew this would not be the most popular of positions (I’m not naive) and therefore was hoping others who felt the same as me would also lend their voices so that mine would not be drowned out (which, thanks to Dudley and Bob my voice was out there, loud and clear), I literally didn’t expect to be yelled at and lectured to for 25 minutes on a radio program and called a “dummy” for trying to highlight the easiness with which people blame sexual assault victims. That quote of mine, the “how controversial” quote, was directly related to that. I was shocked that Dudley wants to trash on me specifically to hold up some idea that DJs should get to say whatever they want without reproach. When I wrote my stupid blog post, I expected people to respond in the negative. I don’t know why a DJ who is out there in the public in multiple forums would think that they are exempt from critique. So, yeah – having my words laughed at and my ideas stomped on a radio program seems amazingly strange to me and I literally can’t believe it that it is that much of a controversy.

    I see your point about Rosen. I don’t want Bobby Bones fired. I haven’t once written that I wanted anything more than for him to apologize. I included the Rosen link to point out that someone else involved in this brouhaha had seen much harsher punishment than simply an apology request and a blog post. I’ll clarify that on the post. I’m not equating what Rosen said to what Mr. Bones said and I should have made that more obvious.

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