On Wednesday, while watching Joshua Ledet slay songs with his voice on American Idol, Melissa McEwan and I text about how much we love Ledet and don’t so much like Philip Phillips (who is, basically, a Dave Matthews copycat but who is so adorable that every young woman in the audience MUST squeal for him when he performs, walks around, blinks).

Tonight, we took this to a whole other level. And we decided for posterity’s sake that this should be saved in pictures and on a blog.  You’re welcome, posterity.

[WARNING: There are a lot of “queef”s ahead, by which I mean that the word “queef” will appear many, many times in the following conversation. Raunchy raunch raunch below. Again, you’re welcome.]

Also, FYI: Melissa is the gray, I’m the blue.




M: For real. Their voices go together like oil and garbage. Garbage Garbages. The new album from Phillip Phillips.


M: Featuring the new single. Barf Barfs.

J: Fart Farts. (my iPhone just changed ‘fart’ to ‘Gary’)

M: With a special guest appearance by up-and-coming lady rapper MC Queef Queefz. LOL FOREVER @ ‘fart’ to ‘Gary’!!!

J: The “z”!!! I will never think of queefz without a ‘z’ (and I think of them often, of course)

M: QUEEFZ ON DA BRAINZ! Does Steven Tyler even speak English?

J: I just said to Aaron, “he just picks random words and says them in a random order.”

M: “You are listening to NPR, and this is Brainqueefz with Steven Tyler.”

J: Hahahahah! I’m going to screen shot that so I have it forever. I took shots of the queefz tweet. QUEEFZ!!!


J: That is the name of the post! It will be up in like 7 minutes. I have no patience.

M: LOLOLOL!! The best part about that is how we’re not even tweeting, lol.

J: Hahaha! Whatever. Does it matter anymore? Queeftexts doesn’t have the ring.

M: It’s like we’re old ladies who don’t understand technology. “Let’s go drink seven & sevens on the lanai!”

J: The tubes! The queefz are going through the tubes!!

M: The tubes is queefin’, Mrytle!

J: Where is my queef medicine!?!?!?

M: LOL! “I think I just queefed out that remote control we were looking for last week.”


M: When we finally lose our fucking minds once and for all and cannot deal with politics anymore and only want to write about garbage, the name of our blog should be The Tubes Is Queefin’, Myrtle!

J: That blog would bring everybody to the yard!!!

M: Tagline: “Nuttin’ but queef and quim as far as your butt can see.”


One thought on “QUEEFTWEETZ

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